Welcome

Until someone dethrones the champ, we’ll be focusing on Byron Katie’s work. Mostly her Four Questions exercise.

Sunday Meetings: Sundays 9-9:30 AM Pacific Time


Four Questions

From: Byron Katie, Loving What Is

“The Work” explores how we suffer when our thoughts argue with reality. The four questions help you investigate those thoughts and shift your perspective.

The practice works by slowing down enough to feel the difference between believing a thought and questioning it.

Steps:

Find a quiet space. Let your mind settle.

Pick a thought - Start with something light and petty, and point your finger outward

One way to find a thought:

I complain about ____ because ____

  • I complain about my boss because he doesn’t listen to me
  • I complain about my boss because he doesn’t listen to me
  • My boss doesn’t listen to me

Side note: It may be tempting to work on yourself (“I’m this way”, “I said that thing”). Let’s find a side door instead. Point your finger outward!

The Four Questions:

Take your thought and move slowly through the questions, keeping your focus on this one thought. Let the answers come rather than think them up.

  1. Is it true? - Yes or no only. Sit with it if you need a moment. Even a tiny “yes” or “I don’t know” counts as a yes.

  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? - Again, yes or no only

  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? - Notice everything. How does it feel in your body? How do you see yourself and others? What images play in your mind?

    Stay with your original thought. You might find yourself thinking “[Original thought], and that means _____.” A new thought is filling in the blank. You can jot it down for later, but for now come back to the first one.

    Keep going until this feels complete

  4. Who would you be without that thought? - Imagine yourself in the same situation, but without this belief. Who are you? How do you feel?

Find the “Turnarounds” - Flip your original thought in different directions. For each turnaround that resonates, find three examples of how it might be as true or truer.

  • To the opposite:
    • “My boss does listen to me”
      • [example 1]
      • [example 2]
      • [example 3]
  • To the other person/thing:
    • “I don’t listen to him”
      • [example 1]
      • [example 2]
      • [example 3]
  • To yourself:
    • “I don’t listen to myself”
      • [example 1]
      • [example 2]
      • [example 3]

Sit with it - Notice the difference in your state between question 3 and question 4. Take a moment with the turnarounds. Leave a little space for your mind to see things differently.

Going Further: Check out Byron Katie’s How to page.